Bill Simmons: The Curse of [UNNAMED ANALYST]

Bill Simmons basically says what we are all feeling about [UNNAMED ANALYST] in pointing out that aside from the a bit of a rabble rouser, he also has been doing the championship of college basketball for three freaking decades. Unfortunately he is not getting any better and as Simmons points out there is not a darn thing we can do about.

Packer’s case is different, though. Many people (including me) believe he’s a humorless know-it-all and a curmudgeon, and we’re exhausted by his schtick. But because he announces the most important college games every spring, he can’t be avoided. Hell, these days, thanks to Janet Jackson and the seven-second delay for “live” events, we can’t even mute games and listen to radio simulcasts anymore — the audio never matches up. It’s Packer and Nantz or nothing.

So we’re left with two choices: mute our TV or grit our teeth. I’ve tried it both ways and found it’s more enjoyable to mute and listen to my iPod. That’s my plan through the title game. I’m doing it for my own sanity. No offense, Billy, but 32 years is more than enough.

The radio being out of sync is probably my biggest peeve. I would gladly put on Woody Durham as my father did during the 1993 title game because we were sick of hearing [UNNAMED ANALYST’S] anti-UNC opinions. Of course we turned the sound on the TV up after Chris Webber called the ill-fated timeout because Woody was speaking in unknown tongues at that point and we wanted to confirm what was actually happening. This of course led to one of the more memorable exchanges between [UNNAMED ANALYST] and Jim Nantz.

Jim Nantz: So, what do you think is going through Chris Webber’s head right now.

[UNNAMED ANALYST]: Well, Jim, he is such a cerebral young man…

That’s right. Chris Webber is cerebral.

Of course I also heard at one point this week that [UNNAMED ANALYST] would be at the East Regional. Please, CBS, I am begging you, send him to St. Louis.


19 Responses to Bill Simmons: The Curse of [UNNAMED ANALYST]

  1. williamodouglas says:

    Everybody is different. It just doesn’t bother me. If Packer did make mistakes during the Michigan game, then that just set up how good Dean Smith’s strategy was in the game. Everybody should read Smith’s book where he rebuts Packer’s critique of the Scott Cherry, Rodl et al substitutions with 7 minutes to play.

    On the other hand, Packer was willing to point out to viewers that much of Illinois’ comeback was being predicated on moving screens which the officials were refusing to call. I have the radio broadcast on CD but I can’t remember whether Woody made a similar point. I don’t think any other television broadcaster would have pointed out such an officials’ error at that point. With respect to Webber, yeah he made mistakes in his life, but I don’t believe that the kid was dumb. Cerebral, I don’t know, but maybe he is. It just doesn’t bother me. The only thing that bothers me is anything that Duke does and losing, so I guess that is two things.

  2. Frank says:

    Has anyone tried one of these?

    I’ve listened to Packer since the old Packer and Thacker days, and I think he dislikes everybody and completely incapable of admitting a mistake (I think that’s the real reason he went on and on about The Foul–he said it wasn’t intentional before he saw the replay but couoldn’t bring himself to change an opinion). If anything, I think he’s less anti-Carolina than he used to be. Maybe he was really just anti-Dean. Nowdays, it seems his harshest criticism is for Dook, and rightly so. Dookie V is far more irritating and certainly less knowledgable.

  3. Chris says:

    I agree that we really should not be subjected to Packer and his agenda. “Know it all” describes him perfectly, and having to listen to his drivel ruins the game. One of my favorite announcers was Hubie Brown doing NBA games; in an unbiased fashion, Hubie could give you a ton of information in a one minute time out, and truly educate the listener about what the various options each coach had. I dislike Dickie V less because he at least doesn’t take himself seriously; Packer truly does think he’s incapable of a mistake, and probably would argue with the Pope on a point in the catechism if it came up.

  4. Dan Schwind says:

    One of God’s greatest inventions in the era of TV delay.

  5. C. Michael says:

    FYI, McBob just declared for the Draft.

  6. Tar Heel Fan says:

    I heard that…word from David Glenn is that he routinely committed the cardinal sin in the Duke program and that was a lack of intensity. That is not the main reason but considering his status this season is horrid and he has nowhere to go but up next season playing with the group of freshmen coming in, it is obvious he is weary of the Duke coaching staff or the manner in which he is being used on the court.

  7. williamodouglas says:


  8. Dan Schwind says:

    williamodouglas: Think of it as investment. $150 is well worth the cost of avoiding the anger management therapy that will be necessary after continuously listening to Packer, Vitale and whoever the h-e-double-hockey sticks it was that was the analyst during the first Carolina-State game that kept saying “BRANDON COSTNER IS DANCING WITH THE WOLVES!!”

  9. C. Michael says:

    This is from the NY Times, so there is a good chance that it is entirely fabricated, but if it is not, then O.J. Mayo is not just self-absorbed… he’s insane…

  10. williamodouglas says:

    Man, $150 would buy a set of the Advent Loudspeakers in Walnut with new surrounds and wiring.

  11. Josh Bowling says:

    C. Michael Says: This is from the NY Times, so there is a good chance that it is entirely fabricated.

    Good One C. Michael. That is the funniest and most accurate statement I have heard this week!

  12. Dan Schwind says:

    Looks like Kentucky continued the trend of chasing out coaches who lead their teams to the NCAA tourney.

  13. jack says:

    im so glad pesky McBob is gone

  14. Triadboy says:

    Oh great! Next year we will be Zoubekified!

  15. williamodouglas says:

    John Feinstein had written a couple of weeks ago that the word was that Duke had a bit of dissention on its squad and that McRoberts and K apparently didn’t get along.

  16. Dr. Seuss says:

    As I have often stated, McBob, in only two short years became my least favorite Duke player of all time. I have mixed feelings about him leaving in much the same way as when Steve Spurrier left the Gators to test the waters of the NFL. I have never had any love for the Florida Gators football team, and with Spurrier at the helm, it made it all the more enjoyable to pull for every team they faced off against. After he left, I still always root for the Gators’ opponent but not with the same enthusiasm. With McBob on the Dook roster, my disdain for the entire program had grown to rival the days of old when Bobby Hurley and company were running ramped along Tobacco Road. In one sense I am thrilled that I will not have to see that whiny, bratty, underachieving, jackass flail about in his Dook uniform complaining after every single call. On the other hand, I was in some way starting to grow fond of watching him fail over and over and over again. How many times did that fool blow it at the end of games this year? And crying on the bench??!! At least Adam Morrison had invested himself in a dream of winning the NCAA tournament. I can understand a few tears in throws of an emotionally exhausting experience at the culmination of his final college season. But McBob just cried like a 7 year old brat that didn’t get his way. Man, I couldn’t stand that guy. I am all but certain he will encounter the same fate as so many dookies before him, a NBA career filled with relative anonymity and mediocre performances. Pretty soon he will only be a distant memory. Farewell McBob, farewell…

  17. Dr. Seuss says:

    You can’t tell me that I’m the only one who is going to miss watching Hansbrough COMPLETELY DOMINATE the guy that dook brought in the same year, with fans proclaiming how much better McBob was going to be than UNC’s guy out of Poplar Bluff. They really got that one right ehh? Lmao!
    So long jackass!

  18. williamodouglas says:

    I like McRoberts. Remember, the eneny of my enemy is my friend. McRoberts hates K, therefore equals friend.

  19. williamodouglas says:

    Seuss, I love Steve Spurrier. I met him in Charlotte when I was 5 years old. He was the Heisman trophy winner and a great all around athlete. He created the Florida program by being the quarterback who got it all started and then as coach. He even won at Duke. He didn’t win here in Washinton, but that was because he didn’t realize that it was a 16 hour a day job, which left little time for golf. He never made any excuses here in DC. basically said, sorry, I suck and I am going back to something I am good at. He’s a guy’s guy; he’s not whiny. What’s not to like?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: